Letting go

I believe that I have post tramautic stress disorder.
I had something so deeply devastating happen 3 years ago. It was job related and it shocked my psyche. It shocked me to my core.
I have seen therapists, I've prayed, I've fasted, I've exercised, I've cried. But I can't seem to pull myself out of the funk. I am WALLOWING in my funk.
My funk has made me stagnant. My mental is keeping me captive and preventing me from moving forward.
I need to get better. I HAVE to get better. I need to perservere.
My sadness has caused me to think CRAZY things. To want to do crazy things to myself.
My only motivation is for my kids. They are my ONLY reason for breathing each day

I lived

Hello! I haven't written in a while.

Today, I had to get my life. I mean REALLY get my life.
I've been so sad lately, a deep in your bones, way down deeeeeeeeep sad.
I'm dissatisfied with everything.
I'm  tired of hearing myself complain.

So I decided to get my life. To figure out the source of my discontentment w my job, my station in life, my direction.
I recently apopted a meat free diet, I started doing yoga in the morning and most importantly I logged off of FB for a while.

I found myself looking for validation from strangers behind a screen, looking for love from keyboard strokes.
I had to get back to basics and reflect on the person that matters most; the reflection in the mirror.

I have been obsessed with One Republic's  I lived.
I know that it's because along the way, a part of me died.

My thoughts have been crazy, my feelings manic. My esteem has been low. My confidence shattered.

So I'm  back to pick up the pieces of the woman who used to be.

Join me on this journey.

Life according to Jax ♡